Restaurant Menu Bloopers
Marilyn April 24th, 2006
An hilarious article by John Lethlean in The Age (weekend of 22 April) highlighted the lousy literacy and pretentious bullshit of many menus. Bizarre translations drew a big response from his readers. As well as phonetic spelling and the inexplicable Tourette-like random capitalisation mid-sentence’ — guilty as charged!
My favourites are: ‘shatto Brian’ and ‘bosom of chicken’ but the one that won the prize was ‘steak of the day with an accompanying jew’ (the sender was desperate to ask if it was orthodox). For more read the whole article, preferably out loud to some friends after a few drinks — Arise, Sir Loin of Beef
Do you have any examples, or things that bug you about restaurant menus?
I’m not sure about “bug” me – more like amuse me. It’s how restaurants take something “ordinary” and tart it up, and then also take something totally inedible and make it desirable.
As to the former I refer to stew, a noble dish requiring slow cooking and the infusion of herbs and spices for exotic flavour. Stew is a woderful thing with many variations, but at the end of the day it is still stew.
But nay, not in a restaurant. The humble peasant dish becomes a “daube” and and enquiry to the waiter results in a nose-wrinkling, superiorly smug look and haughty explanation
” It is, sir, A classic French dish made with beef, red wine, vegetables and seasonings, all slowly braised for several hours in a special, very deep, covered pottery casserole called a daubiere.”
Hmmn. Sounds like stew to me.
As to the latter, the varieties of so-called lettuce that are not iceberg or cos are totally inedible and were shunned for years by right thinking people. Now it is mandatory in a restaurant to have rocket, spinach, bladderwort, paspallum and assorted weeds in a salad. In the words of the immortal Pauline Hanson – “I don’t like it”, and as far as I am aware, none of my men friends do either. Bring back the shredded iceberg and carrot!
Yes, Aussies are addicted to iceberg lettuce (several generations of Anglosaxons have been brought up on it) however Mediterraneans have been eating ‘weeds’ in their salads since time began — maybe its just an acquired taste?
Your comments on subversive terminology used on restaurant menus is spot on, and some of us are making a concerted effort to ‘ban the bullshit’. Certainly at Baguette we monitor and re-write the menu wording devised by the Chefs, so that we only use terminology that people can understand and keep it simple. This can be difficult when there is no direct translation (without a paragraph of words) to describe some classic French dishes. But in the long run does a daube taste better than a stew? It’s all in the psychology of the eating out experience.
Marilyn
Hi Marilyn,
As a subscrilber to the “ban the bullshit” on menus regime (Thanks to Francis and you ) I would also like to add another thought to the process.
The Biggest Restaurant Menu Blooper – Taking off that dish all your customers come to enjoy!
It seems to me that the cookery professionals also have an urge to be always changing the menu. We have a restaurant in town who’s motif is a new menu each day. (Must be expensive to do). Why change your best dish because the kitchen…needs a change?
There should be more restaurants that have pride in their signature items. Customers will come back again and again is you have something that is fresh, thoughtful and always there.
Dont be afraid to be “renowned” for something.
Its better than being re-owned….
Cheers,
Paul
Some years ago it was fashionable for some Sydney restaurants to change their menus daily. Operationally a nightmare and quite a challenge for the kitchen. It really was an aberration and ultimately stopped being viable. Nevertheless, chefs still like to change menu items frequently because … they get bored! Customers on the other hand are often creatures of habit and come to re-experience what they loved.
The cure can be daily specials. Not too many and not necessarily every day, but only when something special (in the way of produce) is on offer.
Like your turn of phrase, by the way!